Damnit

Song of the moment: Bring me to life by Evanescence



How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core
Where Ive become so numb


Without a soul
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home

-CHORUS-
[wake me up] Wake me up inside
[I cant wake up] Wake me up inside
[Save me] Call my name and save me from the dark
[Wake me up] Bid my blood to run
[I cant wake up] Before I come undone
[Save me] Save me from the nothing I've become


Now that I know what Im without
You cant just leave me
Breathe into me and {make me real}
Bring me
To life


-CHORUS-
[wake me up] Wake me up inside
[I cant wake up] Wake me up inside
[Save me] Call my name and save me from the dark
[Wake me up] Bid my blood to run
[I cant wake up] Before I come undone
[Save me] Save me from the nothing I've become


{Bring me to life}
[Ive been living a lie..Theres nothing inside]
{Bring me to life}


Frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only you are the life among the dead


[All of this I, I cant believe I couldnt see
Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me]


Ive been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything


[Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul]
{Dont let me die here}{There must be something more}
Bring me to life


-CHORUS-

[wake me up] Wake me up inside
[I cant wake up] Wake me up inside
[Save me] Call my name and save me from the dark
[Wake me up] Bid my blood to run
[I cant wake up] Before I come undone
[Save me] Save me from the nothing I've become


Bring me to life
[Ive been living a lie.. Theres nothing inside]
Bring me to life


I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside.


Bring me to life

Care to listen to this song?

I lost touch with my true self.


It’s sickening to think what my Blogger has become. Mindless, mainstream bullshit, day in and day out. People ask me why I have deleted my previous posts for the past week. I ask myself why the fuck I posted that shit in the first place.


I remember the last time I opened the box of puzzle pieces, trying each and every combination to find the one that fits. In contrast to my writing, I spent my time, intricately piecing together each word in such a way that the former word, would complement the latter, creating an almost harmonious beat; a steady flow to my writing, unwavering in its strength and longevity. Trying each and every combination to find the one that fits, slowly unveiling the labryinth


Piecing together letters, creating a word, and building up those words to create a sentence, and those sentences to voice my thoughts out to the world. It seems like an eternity since that lapse of creative talent was tapped.


I noticed a growing trend in my posts - more specifically, referring to the time interval between each succeeding post. Characteristics that take a life of their own, accompanied by long lapse of silence and lack of creative ideas, or the feeling that this isn’t ‘post worthy’.


It hit me with much dismay. Perhaps my ‘skills’ as a writer is nothing but a temporary euphoria - a momentary lapse of creativity that is never constant, incapturable at best. A frightening ordeal that prompted me to lay my pen down to rest, only to feel its unusually cold surface in later uses.


Then it hit me. It came to me in a place where my mind can rationalize thoughts and idea to the utmost degree, where my usual state of consciousness could only dream to fathom. It came to me somewhere between my conscious mind and my fantasy world, where I can scale any mountain, overcome any obstacle and ponder the deepest objectives. Oddly enough, my most creative period of time is right before I fall asleep.



Chalk it up to perfectionist. An urge, almost the need to be creative, innovative and original. It's the desire to not repeat ones self, but to cultivate your thoughts into an ever-lasting creative renaissance.


I have slayed the ultimate enemy… myself.



Ugh. Well, there goes my artistic expression of the day. The real reason why I deleted my posts was because Ashley called me and told me that *cough* 'that person' *cough* wrote down the url for my blogger. Hah. I'm so sneaky. *rolls eyes*


Anywho, I should go call Tya pretty soon. She and I are going to buy our Sugar Cult concert tickets tommorow, and afterwards, we're going to go hang out in downtown. I'm gonna go and read my novel now... ciao!